It’s the top of the world as we all know it

I don’t know what an Emergency Preparedness Plan is. (The truth is, I didn’t even realise that “Preparedness” was a correct phrase till now.)

If we’re speaking about surviving an apocalypse, fairly frankly I wouldn’t wish to; I’d somewhat be taken out by the asteroid/zombies/marauding Chats Noirs/no matter, than need to combat my neighbours for the final tin of natural plum tomatoes looted from Waitrose. Nonetheless, if we imply typically having sufficient to get by within the occasion of all provides being reduce off, the one fear we now have is Louis Catorze’s meals.

If his Orijen provide had been to stop, Catorze would simply starve. Not like people, and most canine, cats gained’t accept a below-par second selection within the occasion of their first selection not being obtainable. There’s none of that “They’ll eat it when their pure survival intuition kicks in” logic. NO, THEY WILL NOT. THEY WOULD RATHER DIE.

The little sod does eat issues aside from Orijen; he’s a fan of a little bit of jambon de Bayonne (the white fatty bits, not a lot the pink bits) and natural aged Comté from the cheese deli (not grocery store Comté, and undoubtedly not Cheddar). Nonetheless, he solely eats them in small quantities, as if he KNOWS they’re a delicacy and that it will be vulgar to gorge himself foolish on them (the feline equal of filling a wine glass proper to the highest, which Cat Daddy as soon as did in a elaborate restaurant and the sommelier was disgusted).

I can’t see Catorze consuming sufficient to maintain himself – and, post-Armageddon, I think about that recent jambon de Bayonne and recent Comté could be in even shorter provide than Orijen.

Catorze additionally fortunately tucks into the blood and heads of rodents however, once more, despite the fact that we’re all instructed that rodents would survive a nuclear holocaust, I don’t assume Catorze would be capable to catch sufficient to maintain him alive. And I don’t like the concept of him consuming semi-nuked rats and turning into some form of radioactive FrankenRoi. He’s sufficient bother as it’s.

In brief, we don’t have a plan. If Catorze had been to make it via Armageddon, his solely hope is that we die first after which he may simply eat us. I imagine he would have the decency to attend till Cat Daddy had been totally lifeless, however, with me, partially-dead would suffice … and he would begin from my toes and work upwards.